Katy Perry’s ‘Cozy Little Christmas’ Video Is a Cozy Little Acid Trip

Sometimes during the holidays, you need a little escape from the cold, the family, the socializing, and the endless pressure to buy and give things. When you find yourself losing that Christmas cheer due to some combination the above, give Katy Perry’s “Cozy Little Christmas” video a quick watch and it’ll remind you just why you love this jolly, campy time year, full celebrities pulling stunts like making horny music under the guise the holiday and starring in made-for-TV movies that may or may not have been written by bots. At first listen, it sounds like Perry’s phoning it in with another half-hearted holiday hit about spending time with the one you love, but check out the video and you’ll quickly learn that the one she loves just happens to be Santa Claus himself, on vacation with Perry and some beloved Claymation Christmas movie characters. Do Orlando Bloom and Mrs. Claus know about this?

You’ll find nothing more wonderful this year than watching Katy Perry and Santa get couple’s massages from a reindeer while Perry sings about getting drunk with Mr. Claus. And underneath it all, there’s a message about the true reason for the season: “I don’t need diamonds, no sparkly things,” Perry sings. “‘Cause you can’t buy this feeling.” You hear that, Eartha Kitt? Santa’s new girl isn’t digging for a sable — just some his cookies.